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How Can I Lose a House?

Challenge Day 7, I want to scream
Someone stole my housing dream!

I am in a bad mood.  Let me re-phrase, I am in a shitty, crappy, super pissy mood.  The worst thing is it’s for a stupid reason –  I am in a shitty, crappy, super pissy mood for a stupid reason.

I want a new house.  I want a house on land. At least 1 acre, if not more.  Why do I want so much land?  Perhaps it is part of my transition to being a Southerner.   Maybe it’s because I want to make 15 year old Jack suffer and have to mow a bigger lot.  Then there are the chickens…..

The powers that be in my subdivision would have a heart attack if I had chickens in my small backyard.  My single, male neighbor to the left with the lawn service twice a week, manicured landscaping and the koi pond probably hates us.  At the least, he looks at our yard with disdain.  My lawn service is Jack, our lawn is lucky to be mowed, little less coifed and the pond in our back yard comes only after a good rain fills the holes Dexter the Dog dug. Chickens would probably put my neighbor over the edge.

There’s the chance that I want land because I like the calm, quiet of a private, tree filled yard; the freedom that children feel spending hours exploring outside; the tremendous outdoor parties we could throw.  Most likely, I like the idea of sitting on a lawn chair, drinking a mint julep and watching Jack mow 1+ acres.

The house I live in now is beautiful. Most of my neighbors are wonderful.  I have carpools set up and doctors nearby.  We are not in a position where we have to move.   I just want land…

and  chickens.

Last June, Jeff and I went house hunting.  We weren’t 100% committed we just wanted to see what was out there.  Of course we found a wonderful house on 1.7 acres.  It needed some TLC and was priced a bit high.  But it fit all of our needs.    Then we did a bit more research and discovered it was on a septic tank.  I dreaded having a septic tank.

My house growing up was on a  septic tank..  Memories of it backing up into our bathtub were seared into my brain.  We couldn’t flush until the septic tank man came and did whatever it is that septic tank men do. This is the stuff that childhood nightmares are made of.  I quickly ruled out any house with a septic tank and we decided to keep looking.

Fast forward to November, it has been 6 months and there is nothing on the market that meets my wants – 1+ acres of land; no septic tank;  in my price range; and assigned to the right schools.  Since the move is just for shits and giggles, I promised Quinn, who will be re-entering public school from her homeschool experiment next year, that we will stay in one of two school districts where she knows a good amount of kids. I can’t give up acreage because that is the whole point of the move and thereiss not a whole lot of wiggle room in price….so the only thing I can sacrifice is my staunch aversion to septic tanks.

Last week-end, my mom was in town and that seemed like a perfect time  to go back and look at the septic tank house.   I value my mom’s opinion and I wanted to know what she thought. We drove up and the visions of the large fancy gate I was going to install began filling my mind.

As we slowly meandered up the long tree lined driveway, CJ found a rope swing and immediately did his best Miley Cyrus impression, which can be viewed here – http://youtu.be/ymD_GnhDuaY

Already it was feeling like home.

We walked through the house and I was envisioning the kitchen remodel.  The living room would need hardwood floors and I plotted out the spot in the back yard where the pool would go.  I had done my research and knew it would cost us about $25000 to convert it to public sewer.  After tallying up the costs for the gate, new kitchen, hardwood floors, pool and septic tank transfer, I calculated an offer. Jeff and I were on the same page.  The kids had picked out their rooms.  And my mom approved.

Before we put an offer on paper, we needed the realtor to come to our house and give us the best realtor price guess for our house.  She couldn’t make it to see us until Wednesday.  No worries…no one has bid at this house since June, it’s not like we had to rush.…Wednesday it was.

But the septic tank house went to shit!  ON MONDAY! Let me repeat that…we looked at the house on Sunday and on MONDAY….someone bid on MY HOUSE.   I had already begun culling my house preparing for a move !  HOW COULD SOMEONE STEAL MY FRICKIN HOUSE????

In my excitement of new home ownership, I forgot one of the best pieces of advice my Gram gave me, “Never count your chickens before the hatch.”

Particularly useful advice for me as I don’t have any chickens!

I am so sad and disappointed.  I really wanted that house.  My feelings only serve to irk me because I know it’s just a house. It’s stupid to be upset.. There will be another house…maybe not quite as perfect…but maybe even better.  In the grand scheme of things it’s not a tragedy just a minor disappointment.  Blah, blah, blah – you can fill in all that other feel good crap on your own – I’m too pissy.

PS NaBloPoMoW8Lo Challenge – Did not wake up any lighter this morning which is a bit surprising as I took to my bed early last night and skipped dinner.  (Early bedtime coupled with an Ancient Aliens marathon did wonders for my bad mood).  But  I am not discouraged…took all 3 dogs on a 3 mile walk this morning and am ready to keep on keeping on.  1 lb down 9 more to go.


4 thoughts on “How Can I Lose a House?

  1. Bummer…I will keep my fingers crossed that you will find your country Hlavahome soon. In the meantime, perhaps you could consider a couple of pullet hens for your back yard – they might be too small for Mranalnextdoor to notice for awhile…

    • Ah Diana – the problem with your plan of pullet hens, which I had to look up on google BTW, is that my cats would kill them…a chicken coop would not go unnoticed and Bibble the Feral cat is sure to kill any chicken that finds itself free ranging in my back yard. HUMPH!

  2. oh kate, you are hilarious, even in your pain…keep writing! and i’m crossing my fingers you get those chickens and a less-perfect-but-even-better house soon! xoxo and i’m planning on sending u a whole bunch of scbwi info as soon as i can get my act together. -adriana

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